Friday, March 2, 2007

B - Bannarghatta massacre

The bells were knolling and the butterflies were flyin (no not really) .. here I was standing at the doors of IIM-B trying to reason with the guard there to let me in (i forgot my interview letter at home..*grin*)

hmm .. the place does have an aura that tends to put ppl off guard .. (i think the profs got that from the place or vice versa ) .. well all said and done, the panel was already decided and everyone from my panel were already there (i was last as always *grin* blame it on the guard who gave me wrong directions !!) .. after a round of introductions, I came to know that the panel had a senior of mine, two ppl whom I had met at TIME classes and some 'friends of friends' .. small world huh *sigh*

anyway, the GD was pretty ok .. we were asked to discuss abt some case wherein some 'rustic' small time actress with an attitude problem was goin to make it big .. whether she should go to finishing school, or wud that polish her off as too sophisticated .. the only problem in the GD was, one person consuming too much 'airtime' and not contributing ABSOLUTELY nothin to the grp .. i was damn sure that if one person had got up and hit him on the face (which the person next to me was abt to do ..) everyone wud have 'avered' with him quite vociferously !!! well all said and done .. 15 min to discuss (8 to that guy and 7 min to the other 7 .. ) it was well discussed .. were asked to write a summary and then were asked to march off ..

The interview started soon after .. mine was 5th .. all the interviews would take somewhere around 30 min .. every time a person came out .. they would be all beaming and saying ."bahut cool tha yaar, no ACADS, no work ex, just general stuff .. " .. i was very happy coz i hate acads (i got screwed on acads for the last two interviews :( .... )

well mu turn came and IN i went .. two profs P1 and P2

P1 : so u are also (!!) from NIT Calicut .. so many ppl from NIT calicut today .. we had two in the morning, do you know them by any chance ?
Me: yessir (all excited with the easy opening gambit) one is my batchmate and one is my junior.
P1 : Suppose we have only one seat have to choose among u three . whom would u choose ?? *devilish grin*

Me : sir, I dont know their motivation to do an MBA, and that should be the main parameter on which you ought to choose .. so I cant compare myself with them .. I can give you reasons why I want to do an MBA and then you can decide coz u ppl have already interviewed them.. (quite satisfied with my answer)

P1 : hmm .. ok lets make life more miserable for you .. suppose they come to Motorola for interview .. and u can choose only one .. then whom wud u choose ?

Me : our policies dont allow us to interview ppl we know before hand .. *grin*

P1 : ok .. *frustrated* you have two CV's , based on that whom would you choose ??

Me : tough decision .. *smile again*

P2 : ok leave that .. well you know Calicut is a very underdeveloped area, what can you do to improve the place ??
Me : (i wanted to circumvent the topic, so .. ) Sir, I am basically from Tvm, not from Calicut

P1: ok ok ... the capital .. there must be some development there .. but bak to Calicut .. what can you do improve the place ??
Me : Sir, the major money comes from the Gulf from the Expatriates .. so maybe we could have some projects, with partial funding from the Govt and the rest from the Expatriates.

P1: ok .. why would they want to give you money to set up some industry ?? why their money??
Me : maybe we can persuade them to give money, if we give them TAX exemptions .. this would also prevent money laundering .. *phew that was close*

P1 : hmm .. ok what kind of projects do you want to set up, so tat it would improve Calicut as a whole ??
Me : thinking on a large scale, we could implement something lik STPI (s/w parks ) or some SEZ in Calicut .. It would usher in a lot of growth ..

I wanted the interview to go towards the s/w park thing .. but alas ..

P1: aha .. SEZ .. ok .. suppose we get you a piece of land earmarked as SEZ .. wat now ??? wat industry are u going to set up there?
Me : *SHIT, now I am dead* Sir .. supply wise .. raw materials .. monazite sand, thorium and Titanium only available .. maybe we could set up a Titanium mining and its secondary markets there ..

P1: hmm .. ok .. what is Titanium used for ?
Me : err .. sir .. i am not sure .. but since it is being mined .. it ought to be used for a lot many things .. (i knew i was in deep shit then .. )

P1: then why dont u think of some other bussiness then ??
Me: ok , (remember the Vasco da gama thing) there is a very gud port there .. maybe we could emulate the Kandla port .. India's firt SEZ .. and start an export oriented SEZ !! *triumphant luk*

P1: ok ok .. so what do you think is the cost required to set up a shipyard ??
Me: hmm .. (wat the hell) . sir I think I can give you a ballpark figure .. hmm no sir .. i dont know ..

P2: ok we will give you two minutes to think and wont ask u anything during that time . sit and think and come up with a plan ..
Me : ok.. *sit and stare at their faces for two minutes* .. then sir I cant think of anythin .. :(

P1 : are yaar .. cmon .. atleast open a Tea shop !!!
Me : hehehehehehe (rub it in bastard .. rub it in .. !!!)

P2: ok leave that .. tell me what you need to start a business ?
Me : demand for the product, market to sell the product, transportation, availability of resources, cheap and skilled labour, blah blah ..

P1: ok then ..
Me : then start the factory and start producing ..

P1 : wat abt the license from the govt ? ?
Me : (oops) yeah tat is also required ..

P1 : why do u need a license?
Me : oligopolies, restriction into the market and all that stuff ...

P2: leave telecom .. if I open a BOMB factory .. wat then?? there is a demand for that .. *smiles*
Me: *i also join in and smile* ..yes sir, there is .. but since it is detrminental to national security ..there wil again be a restriction ..

P1: *exasparated* .. hmm suppose I start a cloth factory ,wat then?
Me : sir , again emission levels, non compliance to labour laws etc ..

P2: hmm ..ok , what if i am ready to pay a price to the neighbours and they are also willing to suffer (for the money ofcourse ??)
Me : no not possible .. norms are to be followed .. after all the govt is basically there to regulate and thats the reason why they regulate ..

P1 $ P2 : burst out laughing ..
Me : confused but I also smile meekly (wat was so funny in that ?? )

P1 : ok u can leave now . thanks a lot ..
Me : thank you sir ..

Once outside .. everyone expects me to be all laughs .. but I am like 'why does shit always happen to me ' why why ??? (thats a rhetorical question, I dont expect an answer for that !! )

wel on second thoughts ... if you do have a remedy for it .. please lemme know .. :)


Bullshee said...

Aha!Finally found your blog!Very good!
Bannerghatta massacre!???!

raghav said...

wat do u mean found my blog ?? *confused* .. anyway .. was thinking abt writin 'Apples gone sour' .. d funny bone tickles, but the emotional (and rational) part restraints .. :)

XioniX said...

he he... looks like u nailed dat interview... wat dya think ??? in or out???